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    Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Finalizes Production and has Held First Private Screening

    God I love Evangelion. What? I’m allowed to love things. I can’t hate everything you know. Just because I hate most things for a career doesn’t mean I want to do it in my spare time. A man has to have hobbies. So yes, I am excited about the new Evangelion movie. Especially since it is drawing closer to completion.

    In case you didn’t know, Evangelion sits pretty high up on my list of approved animes. It’s one of the good ones, and a personal childhood favorite of mine. It’s one of my favorite shows of all time. One time I had someone tell me that Darling in the Franxx was better than Evangelion. That person will never be found. And even if they were, their body will not be recognized as even remotely human.

    Let’s get the news out of the way first. Movie’s done. It’s opening January 23rd. Also, on Monday 12/21, Studio Khara announced on Twitter that they have held their first private in-house screening of the movie. We’re getting close and I’m excited. Here is the first ten minutes.

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    By the way, spoilers. In case you didn’t realize that

    The quality isn’t great but I’m pretty sure it was just ripped from an official premiere (back in July 2019) so don’t complain and just be happy we have it.

    Looking back on my “news”, I see I did a poor job of summarizing. But really that’s what’s happened. Studio Khara revealed that all the editing and composition work was done. Then they just came out and said that the movie was done as of Thursday December 10th. They even posted a photo Hideaki Anno took. Exactly which photo that is I do not know. They have a bunch of photos on their twitter. And it’s in Japanese. I do not speak Japanese.

    Plot Synopsis

    Story time. You haven’t seen Evangelion? You sicken me. Go watch the damn show. The only reason I’m going to tell you the story is because it’s my job. Also, I just like writing. And talking about Evangelion. Actually this is all one massive ploy to talk about Evangelion and insult you personally, because my aggression is real and not a sick twisted form of humor.

    Oh right, story. Child trauma is the name of the game today. Also spilling your yogurt all over your hands. That naked chick in a coma? Unrelated. I guess there are mechs and aliens too.

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    Personally, I wouldn’t know. I kinda lost the plot a bit because the show’s creator, Hideaki Anno, has a philosophy boner and refuses to have actual content. Instead he focuses on things like “moral philosophy” and “the ramification of human hubris”. Things that my small shriveled smooth walnut of a brain refuses to understand. What’s all this shit about freewill and hedgehogs. I signed up for mechs not Sonic.

    Shinji, the protagonist, is your average everyday little bitch. His mom up and died on him and his dad ran away to the corner store for some Tang about ten years back. The only reason his dad eventually calls him is to ask Shinji to penetrate his mother’s corpse body and ride around in her skin suit to beat up god. 

    Then Shinji nuts in his hand at the sight of a naked girl. Like some sort of virgin. I could say more but I feel like I really nailed the plot of it all. Unless you are watching the remakes, then no nutting occurs. That’s the only important difference I noticed. Oh and just a lot less Tang in the remakes, that’s important too. 

    For all the jokes I do love Shinji as a character.

    Usually around here is where I would go into the cast and such, but if I did that it would just become me saying that everyone worked on Evangelion. Therefore they are good and you should like them. I may be biased, but I’m not about to let that bias turn this into a boring article.

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    Having said that, Shiro Sagisu, the man who did the soundtracks for the previous Evangelion remake movies, is also doing the soundtrack for this one. That is important enough to warrant a break in the rules.

    Also yes this article is late to the party. I was rewatching all of Evangelion. Sue me.

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