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    Nekopara Vol. 4 to Launch on PS4 and Switch.

    Heads up, this article is going to be VERY NSFW. (That means Not Safe For Work. This disclaimer is for my parents who read these things. Maybe don’t send this one out to your friends, okay?)

    I have been trying to think of a way to start this article for a while now. I did request the topic, but it’s been a struggle. There is so much I want to say about these games and so little space. I suppose I should start off with the general fact that these games have somehow made it onto Switch and PS4. I mean it’s going to be the censored versions but- oh wait I forgot to mention:

    These games are porn.

    Or hentai I guess, but still. Now, nothing wrong with that, I personally own upwards of about thirty hentai games on steam, including some from the Nekopara series, but those are a special case. I don’t mean that in a good way. I mean that in a “these are the games my girlfriend hates most” kind of way.

    So, you are unfamiliar with the Nekopara series? I envy you. Stop now while you’re ahead. There’s no going back after this point.

    Do you like my edit? I made it in MSPaint.

    You play as Cashew, named as such because the man is pure nut. You just bought yourself a bakery. Well, technically you didn’t, your rich Donald Trump of a father gave you a “small” loan so you could go strike out on your own, and maybe leave your pet cats alone for once. Of course, your two cat maids, Chocolate and Vanilla, refuse to let you live a life in isolation, and insist that they spend every waking moment vying for Cashew’s huge attention span. All the while your jealous demon of a little sister is there too, trying to pry away the cat girls you raised, all so that she can greedly gobble the whole of Cashews attention. Attention she is convinced she can take all of at once.

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    That’s just the first one. The entire series can be summed up as you, the sentient manifestation of Shane Dawson’s cat fetish, bouncing around your harem like a steel ball inside the world’s horniest pachinko machine. Despite your crimes against nature and humanity, you go unpunished, another example of how the rich avoid their sins. That is until your father catches wind of your actions. 

    When things kick off, they kick off hard.

    Disappointed in what his son has become, he disowns Cashew. In Nekopara Volume 4 you must win back your fathers approval by proving to him that banging your weird cat maids is not only okay, but a common practice in these godless times.

    To be honest I don’t actually know the exact plot of Nekopara 4. But your father is disappointed in you and you have to gain his approval. A situation that I feel anyone who plays these games can relate to. Hell, if your father is the only one disappointed in you, consider yourself lucky.

    The “game” comes out on PlayStation 4 and Switch December 22nd. I hesitate to call these games because its you endlessly clicking for two hours. It’s a lot of clicking and nothing happening. I feel like with most visual novels they give you choices or good narrative or at least a tiddy in the first thirty minutes. I’m pretty sure that’s a rule in the videogame industry. If there is f*ckin to be had, you must at least show a tiddy in the first act. Or a donger. I’m happy with both. Remember the Witcher series? They abide by that rule. And look how good those games are!

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    Truthfully, here’s the reason my girlfriend hates the Nekopara series. Like I said I own a lot of these games. Mostly because the vast majority of these are terrible and plain hilarious. I even made a YouTube video where I play through one with some friends of mine. They all hate me for it to this day. But that’s aside the point. Me and her sat down to play through these and watching her get more and more frustrated as nothing happened is the funniest thing I have ever seen. By the end she was less upset about the weird furry fetish stuff going on and more upset that they refuse to show any of it.

    Until you hit critical mass and then its balls to the wall furballs.

    I’m going to be real with you, if this seems like your thing, go look up some sketchy doujinshi website and go to town. I’m pretty sure you can find some Nekopara doujin. Besides, it’s free, you get more than one image at a time, and also you don’t have to sit there waiting for something to happen while your girlfriend watches on, disappointed with the monster you’ve become.

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